Mother shares her son’s suicide note
Losing a child is the worst pain a parent can feel and those who have experienced it are in a club of their own that no one wants to be a part of. It takes strength and resilience to get through such a heartbreaking experience and even talking about it can be unbearable, especially if the feedback is devoid of any empathy.
A woman going by @angelkiss77 on TikTok decided to share the letter her transgender son, Kai, wrote after deciding to commit suicide. In the video titled “Kai’s Last Words to Me,” she began by saying, “For those who want to dehumanize transgender youth like my son, I want to share a little bit of his last words with me.”
The letter began with her son Kai writing, “Dear Mom and Dad, I’m sorry for what I’m about to do shortly after I finish this letter.”
It is further said that the young man did not feel that he was really ‘living’, but simply ‘surviving’. He assured his parents that his suicide was not their fault, but could be attributed to his belief that he did not fit into society. Kai told them it would be “hard to find” parents who were as good as they were to him.
He said he wasn’t strong enough to carry on and it wasn’t enough for him to take it one day at a time but he hoped it would be for his mother and father as they mourned and processed his loss. Kai expressed his gratitude for everything his parents had given him and said he regretted not getting more out of his life and not doing so much to them.
“Celebrating my life includes taking care of it don’t go through this alone because even in my worst moments I wasn’t. Stay off Facebook if it means people will blame you for letting me be the reason I killed myself,” he advised his mother and father as he finished the letter.
Story continues
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Unfortunately, Kai accurately anticipated people’s cruelty, and as predicted, one person posted a particularly mean comment.
A woman named “Beth” said, “Don’t blame people because your son couldn’t accept his birth gender. Maybe you should have given him mental health therapy. He was weak.” That prompted Kai’s mother to immediately respond to the comment.
According to her, Beth’s comment was no different than others she received about her son. Instead of deleting it and moving on, she felt it was important to respond and clear up some of the viewer’s misconceptions about the situation.
She accused the commenter of not thinking before posting and parroting what others said. “This illustrates the point that you have to have some kind of mental health problem to go out and hurt people who are suffering,” the grieving mother said. She told the woman that her words couldn’t hurt because the worst thing that could happen to her had already happened when she lost Kai.
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Gender affirming care requires comprehensive mental health care.
The grieving mother responded to the suggestion that Kai lacked mental health care related to his gender. As she noted, a little bit of research would have told the troll commentator that mental health counseling is part of the gender affirmation process.
To start gender-confirming hormone treatmentsone must have a history of persistent, well-documented gender dysphoria (a condition in which one’s emotional and psychological identity as male or female is the opposite of one’s biological sex), diagnosed by a mental health professional who is well versed in the field and the has the capacity to make a fully informed decision and consent to treatment.
She believes the hatred against her online is a result of people listening to problematic politicians without using any critical thinking skills. “They go for those they know are so ignorant and spiteful that they will believe anything and can be manipulated very easily.”
LGBTQ youth are at higher risk of suicide and more likely to be bullied than cisgender straight youth.
According to the CDC, LGBTQ youth are more likely to be bullied than heterosexual cisgender youth, so Kai’s mother isn’t falsely accusing anyone of dehumanizing him. This puts them at greater risk of violence, victimization and suicide.
“The data shows that 43% of transgender youth have been bullied on school grounds. 29% of transgender young people, 21% of gay and lesbian young people and 22% of bisexual young people have attempted suicide. We have consistently seen that LGBTQ youth face greater health disparities than their cisgender heterosexual peers.”
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Everyone has their own beliefs and yours do not override the perspectives of others.
What happened to keeping your mouth shut when you don’t have anything nice to say? This woman needed courage to share her child’s story. No parent should ever bury their child. The least the rest of us can do is offer love, support, and kind words, no matter what our own beliefs are.
If you can’t, it won’t cost you anything to mind your business and keep scrolling. Rest in eternal peace and love Kai.
If you or someone you know is struggling to cope or has suicidal thoughts, get in touch 988 Suicide and Crisis Hotline.
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NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington. She covers stories about lifestyle, relationships and human interests that readers can relate to and that question social issues.
This article originally appeared on YourTango
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