Global Courant 2023-05-01 08:45:50
Found a new job? Your prospective former employers will likely conduct an exit interview on your last day – and they’ll expect you to provide honest reasons for leaving.
But most people would lie, according to a workplace expert.
“There is a strong standard against clear, honest, and critical feedback in most organizations,” says Tessa West, a professor of psychology at NYU.
“The default is not fair feedback. The default is bull—-.”
The main reason most people find it difficult to give honest feedback in exit interviews is because there is no “baseline” for having a difficult conversation.
Learning how to take control when giving feedback is a really crucial skill, so don’t just throw it away.
Tessa West
professor of psychology, NYU
“That takes months and months of practice and daily feedback conversations to build that muscle. But (employers) want people to have that muscle on the most important day,” West added.
While employees may think it’s not worth giving feedback once they’re already one foot out, West said there are benefits to being honest.
“Think of this as a way to learn how to handle an awkward feedback conversation, and practice with your ex-employer,” she added.
“Learning how to take control through feedback is a very crucial skill, so don’t just throw it away.”
The author of “Jerks at Work: Toxic Coworkers and What to Do About It” shared five tips with CNBC Make It on how to be more honest in exit interviews.
1. Know the power structure
Some may be afraid to speak their minds because of the perceived “power differential” in an exit interview – that the person doing the interview could ruin your career or reputation.
“The first thing you need to do is have a very clear understanding of what that power means and how it could potentially be used against you,” West said.
“Because an HR person probably won’t affect your reputation. But in your mind, there are a million ways information can get out and affect you.”
Instead, West advised employees to ask, for example, will the feedback be anonymous? “If your name goes to the feedback and you might only feel comfortable saying XYZ.”
“Try to understand the nature of the power structure rather than assuming the worst,” she added.
2. Know where the data is going
In addition to knowing the power structure, you should know it what happens to the information you give, West said. The interviewer should be able to answer these “critical” questions:
How will you consolidate the data you collect? How do you search for themes? Where does this data go? How are you going to communicate that data to the organization or the leaders? How will you act based on that data?
“A lot of companies collect feedback and later figure out what to do with it and I think it wastes everyone’s time and energy,” said West.
Answering these questions can also help ease your fear of giving honest feedback.
“Since the data may not be used in a certain way than you think, you might feel a little more comfortable now to be honest,” she added.
3. Ask for details
The right questions will yield honest answers, West said — and the questions should be as specific as possible.
If the questions are general, people lie. Questions like, did you like it here? What didn’t you like about this place?
Tessa West
professor of psychology, NYU
“If the questions are general, people lie. Questions like, did you like it here? What didn’t you like about this place?”
“It’s not really your job to (make sure the interviewer asks you the right questions), but if you want to be honest, press details,” West added. Examples can be:
Can you give me an example of what you mean by that? Is there a particular behavior I need to address? Is there a specific instance or context you would like me to speak to?
This can help you avoid the “temptation to just stay on the positives,” she said.
“If the interviewer isn’t willing to get specific, just say you don’t have enough detail to answer that question.”
4. Focus on behavior
If you’re having a hard time giving negative feedback about the workplace or management, West says a good place to start is to “focus on behavior,” not your interpretation of events.
For example, instead of saying someone “takes forever to get things done,” say, “I emailed them once and they wrote me back 48 hours later, and that was too long.” ‘
It will be even better if you have documentation of events that are “very connected” to what individuals did and when they did it, West shared.
“What they did and when they did it is much more powerful than what you think of the person. Leave the impressions at the door,” she added.
“Emotions are subjective, and they’re usually what we lead with — but they’re very easy to discount.”
5. You can say no
If you feel like you can’t be honest in an exit interview, don’t do it, West said.
“No data is better than misleading data. Refusing to do an exit interview can actually be super useful data for a company.”
It’s like abstaining from a vote… it’s another form of data that still allows you to express yourself and set the alarm bells ringing.
Tessa West
professor of psychology, NYU
That’s especially true in cultures where “there’s a norm for saying something negative” and not doing the interview can be “super diagnostic,” she added.
“People always ask me, ‘How do you know if I’m the jerk at work?’ Well, did you enter five names for this recruiter to check for references and none of them wrote back?”
West explained, “It’s like abstaining from a vote… it’s another form of data that still allows you to express yourself and set the alarm bells ringing.”
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