Global Courant 2023-05-12 16:00:30
What parents do not aspire for their children to become strong and self-confident personalities? However, it is not something simple, but an important educational task. But how can parents achieve this goal?
Inner strength is not an innate quality, but rather develops from the child’s social interaction with his reference persons. The base will be set by the parents at a very early age.
In elementary school and puberty, it is crucial to maintain the relationship. After all, the family -along with the school environment- is the one that most influences children’s ability to cope with stress and difficult situations.
With these seven recommendations, parents will support their children so that they feel confident in themselves.
Give love and support
“It is important for the development of personality that parents are present for their children, be it in conversations, with their support or also trusting the child,” says Michaela Goecke from the Federal Center for Health Education (BZgA) in Germany.
In fact, children who feel loved and accepted have an easier time developing a good self-concept.
Christiane Kutik, an educational consultant in Munich, calls it the “nest heat”. This is precisely the feeling that the house is the right place, that we are loved there and we can relax.
“Self-esteem is not something children get from students, but from home,” he says. Grandparents, a good friend, or a neighbor can strengthen children. “Someone the children respect because she knows how to do something,” says the expert.
These positive relationships will also help children through puberty. “Parental support and family conversations are important, even though the circle of friends is becoming increasingly important,” says Goecke.
Give them full attention
Although they are no longer truly small and can handle many things on their own, children need their parents’ full attention to develop strong self-esteem.
“Parents should put down their cell phones more often and dedicate themselves completely to their son or daughter,” recommends Kutik. In this way, they convey to the child that they are important to him and create a propitious atmosphere for him to want to express himself about his experiences.
“Children do not like to speak on demand,” warns the specialist, “but rather when the parents are fully present.”
give positive signals
Kutik points out that children continue to require emotional support well into elementary school and into puberty. And it indicates that you have to encourage them in a positive way. For example, with a good start to the day.
“Parents and children should take the time to say goodbye properly before school,” he says. Children are stimulated when their parents make them a good wish.
This also applies to the greeting. “Instead of greeting a pubescent child without comment, parents can tell them: you’re too important to me to just brush us off like that,” she recommends.
Be an example in stress management
Children may experience various discomforts or difficult situations in everyday life. “Parents can support them, to the extent that they themselves show them how they deal with stress,” says Goecke.
The best way, he points out, is by showing that they remain calm, contemplate their own limits and seek and accept help when it is necessary.
“It is also beneficial to seek calm and relaxation rituals,” he says. For example, with a cozy corner to snuggle in, reading aloud, listening to music or stories, or setting moments of silence and tranquility.
Taking walks together can also help children regulate their emotions. “If the child wants to talk in the meantime, it helps to listen and reflect on her emotions (‘I understand you’re upset’),” Kutik exemplifies.
Learn to resolve conflicts
Children learn as a family and from their parents how to deal with and resolve conflicts. Here, too, parents represent an important example.
“Some conflicts -for example with peers of the same age or with siblings- must be overcome by children independently, without the intervention of parents”, recommends Goecke.
When they learn how to dialogue with others and reach agreements, this builds their self-confidence to handle difficult situations.
Taking walks together can help children regulate their emotions. (Free Press Photo: Benjamin Nolte/dpa)
“Before parents get involved, they should ask their child: Can you figure it out on your own?” Kutik says. Because parents are generally unaware of where the fight started.
If the resolution is beyond the child, such as in the case of “mobbing” or exclusion, then it is time for adults to intervene.
encourage independence
The older children are, the more they should be encouraged to make their own decisions and take responsibility for their actions. “When children test themselves and can learn from their mistakes, they also learn to know themselves better as people,” says Goecke.
In this way, he points out, his value and self-confidence are increased. Two qualities that are also promoted by the “Make children strong” initiative of the Federal Center for Health Education.
Kutik recommends letting the children set the table or go buy the bread, since they grow with their tasks. If something does not work well, the expert suggests phrases like “we can all make mistakes, I love you anyway”, to strengthen the little one.
Foster talents and hobbies
“Starting in primary school, children need a hobby to strengthen themselves. The best thing is that it is outside the school ”, proposes Kutik.
If the minor himself does not make a wish, then he should be encouraged to discover his talents and interests. Because knowing that one stands out in an activity strengthens one’s self-confidence. At the same time, hobbies are a complement to daily school life and promote stress reduction.
