Global Courant
The love of parents in raising children is essential. Although this responsibility is usually delegated to the mother, today the inclusion of both in the care of the children has become necessary, with a vision of tenderness, security and commitment.
“For a child, emotional balance will always be important and for this reason the father figure is necessary, with a connotation of tenderness and responsibility in his care,” says psychologist Mayra Valdez, from the National Commission Against Child Abuse, Conacmi.
Unfortunately, in Guatemala, paternity is often associated with a macho, patriarchal or authority figure, where the aspect of tenderness and care is absent. This has hurt Guatemalan society, because it applies to all those exclusive behaviors, lacking in equality and equity.
Childhood requires a father figure that generates the certainty of protection and security of being loved, in an environment of caring upbringing, that guarantees their emotional balance, and that is what must be built in responsible parenthood.
promote tenderness
Parents should promote tenderness, love and affection with assertive discipline, never hit or fear. But yes with limits, that they feel the certainty that it is because they love them. Children must perceive that the limit obeys the tenderness and love of the father.
With the macho figure, mistreatment is validated because children are seen as private property, not as subjects of rights. Children are not owned by anyone, we adults are responsible for their well-being and care. In addition, because they are providers, they should not wait for their children to have the obligation to pay them when they are adults, adds Valdez.
Unfortunately, with the pandemic, situations as serious as domestic abuse, gender violence, intrafamily violence or domestic violence, which occurs within the home, were exacerbated. And for this reason, we must start again to promote good upbringing at home, always seeking professional help.
Reading, tutorials and parenting school that reinforce the best way to fulfill the role of parenting are also useful. Recognizing at the same time that as a couple is how children are raised, and especially now that it is necessary for both of them to go out to work, so household chores must also be shared.
co-parenting
People who grow up fortunate enough to have present, loving, and dependable parents develop stable, confident personalities. Free Press Photo: Peggy_Marco Pixabay
Even many people attribute all the responsibility to the mother for education: providing love and procuring the bases for a stable personality in the child, relegating only the role of provider to the father, explains psychologist Neicy Bailey.
The foregoing only contributes to fostering a distortion of paternity and breaks the ties within the family. A person is conceived through two cells, provided by both the father and the mother, which combine to develop a new being.
Therefore, the importance of both parents is essential and fundamental for the emotional development of the infant. Especially if there is an effective involvement from gestation, birth and upbringing, since children perceive the emotional closeness of the father and mother, and begin to develop the perception of their own worth, while perceiving themselves as the object of love of two adults.
People who grow up with the fortune of having present, loving and trustworthy parents develop stable and self-confident personalities, since they have two reference points for the development of their social skills and their gender roles, Bailey says.
Upbringing based on respect and love, which is also sought by both parents, facilitates the development of greater nervous connections, because the infant must contrast different perspectives on life that, although they are combined in a single parenting pattern, do not they are no longer two different people in charge of education and care, who show you the way forward.
Bailey, assures that in the childhood stage, there is a broader frame of reference, which allows to achieve, more quickly, develop their critical judgment and consequently, their free will. That is, conscious, sensitive, free and emotionally stable people.
But, it is not necessary to reduce the participation of the father only to the fact of being present or to the discipline, but it refers to the active participation in the upbringing and the affective closeness with the children. This is what makes the difference, as it strengthens bonds and builds trust.
It’s time to get involved
Parents must be included in the entire process of their children’s growth. Get involved from pregnancy: “get pregnant” together with your partner and live this new experience together.
They should know that the father does not help the mother in the upbringing tasks, he simply assumes his responsibility and divides the tasks. This reduces fatigue between both parents, providing a climate of tranquility and love for the newborn, since fatigue is the main trigger for bad mood and neglect of the affective needs of the infant.
Educate with respect and love
If you are very angry, first try to calm down so that you do not vent your anger on the child, losing a valuable opportunity to correct a behavior appropriately. With this, it will serve as a model for the child to better manage her emotions and will earn her respect and admiration, eradicating fear.
Love your daughters and sons without guilt or restricted by stereotypes of how a man or a woman should behave. For example, not showing sensitivity or doing it according to what is expected according to the sex of the infant. By eradicating these absurd assumptions, the father can freely love his family, guiding them as people and seeing beyond what is expected of him and his children.
Sharing the game as an opportunity to build memories and get to know your children by watching them carefully, listening and respecting their opinions. Many times we make the mistake of taking them as objects of personal amusement and not to share with them. It is best to ask them about their preferences and adapt to them, because that gives us the pattern of how their free will is developing, shares the psychologist Bailey.
Happy Father’s Day to all the men who embrace and work every day in the role of fatherhood and seek to be better every day.
