Global Courant 2023-04-14 09:04:48
Although it is not a new situation in couple relationships, social networks facilitated this behavior.
It is difficult for there to be someone to whom it has not happened, that of being in a relationship that seems to be going from strength to strength and that, suddenly, the other person disappears as if by magic, or as if it were a ghost. From there, from that almost ghostly disappearance comes the term “ghosting”, derived from the English word “ghost”, which means precisely “ghost”.
“Ghosting” is something that occurs with singular frequency in relationships that are in their first steps, and refers to the fact that when one of the two parties believes that everything is progressing correctly, suddenly and without further ado, the other person vanishes, as if the earth had swallowed it. There are also those who do it gradually, but the result is the same.
The problem is that these people disappear without the slightest explanation, without their counterpart having perceived or followed the slightest sign to suggest that something was not right between them.
That goes beyond whether or not there are unspoken reasons for a separation. Because, after all, how can one find justification for someone who suggests one day that the next day everything will stay the same, and suddenly doesn’t let anyone know anything about himself.
The empty chair syndrome. Photo illustration Shutterstock.
Ghosting, an evil that comes from afar
It is clear that “ghosting” is not something new; There are plenty of anecdotes, stories and cases of couples in which one of its two members goes up in smoke from one day to the next, and which may never be heard from again. At least not directly.
But, definitely, the advent of social networks and links through electronic media facilitated an increase in this cruel way of ending a relationship.
Obviously, it is much easier to “ghost” a person if it is enough to press the block button or the one that removes the other person from personal networks and devices. But whatever the mechanism, digital or analog, the truth is that the consequences of suffering this type of behavior are not free.
Even at first one may not understand what could have happened, but then one goes on to the stage of worrying that something has happened to the other person, until the shock of reality hits even lower, generating a series of possible sensations and consequences.
Waiting for the message on the cell phone, a repeated scene for those who are victims of ghosting. Photo: Illustration Shutterstock.
some consequences
Guilty feeling. The ghosting victim thinks that maybe they did something wrong that caused the other person to move away.
Obsession to find an explanation. The brain always needs to understand the why of things and more when one suffers some damage. It is the only way he has to find some kind of calm in the face of such disappointment and mistreatment. And it is certainly hard to find any way to explain such an attitude.
Blow to self-esteem. Often you feel that you have not been up to the task or that you have not been enough for the other person and that is why what happened happened.
Feeling of contempt and humiliation. Nothing exists that is worse than indifference. The check pinned to the cell phone or any sign of acknowledgment of the victim’s message that is not followed by a response increases the feeling of being humiliated or despised.
How to counteract the bad drink
Faced with this type of abuse, there are some antidotes that allow us not to carry the feeling of having been the cause of such rudeness. Assuming that one is not important to the other party is a good way to begin to understand that, in that case, abandonment should not hurt as much.
Ghosting causes an anxiety that one should get rid of as soon as possible. Photo: Illustration Shutterstock.
Understanding that the other person is disrespectful, cruel and harmful is another defense mechanism, which increases points by revealing that if the relationship had continued, it would have been much worse if that happened later in time, after having lived with a person of a similar nature. .
Convince yourself that there is no personal fault in the other person’s way of proceeding. If the decision of the other or another is without consultation and without prior notice, it is clear that there is nothing that one could have done so that it did not happen. In that case, better to keep the good memories and make a clean slate. That means being contact, and if I have seen you, I no longer recognize you.
