Global Courant 2023-05-06 16:00:08
A Connecticut mom shares her “eight-year journey” to forgive her husband after he left their 15-month-old son in a hot car in July 2014, killing the toddler, in her new book, “The Gift of Ben.”
That morning, July 7, at the family’s home in Ridgefield, began like any other, but ended in tragedy.
Lindsey and Kyle Seitz had a routine.
“We rushed as I rushed the girls as they prepare for vocational Bible college. Grains. Clothes. Brush your teeth,” Lindsey Seitz recalls in her book.
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Ben, their only son, was a “daddy’s boy” who spent that morning with Kyle while Lindsey got their two girls ready. (Lindsey Seitz)
Ben, their only son, who had big blue eyes and a full head of blond hair, was a “daddy’s boy” who had spent that morning with Kyle while Lindsey got their two girls ready. Lindsey heard Kyle blow raspberries on Ben’s stomach, causing the 15-month-old boy to giggle.
“You’re too pretty to be a boy,” Lindsey said, looking at Ben that morning.
“I remember kissing him on the leg, and one question I have in my head that I’ll never be able to forget is did I tell him I loved him? Because… we always think we have so much having more time with people. I remember I did, but I’m not 100% sure. That’s always a memory and a question that’s been in the back of my mind,” Lindsey told Fox News Digital.
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Lindsey drove the girls to bible college on that “scorching hot” day while Kyle drove Ben to daycare, as was his daily routine, before stopping to get coffee and then going to work.
“We rushed as I rushed the girls as they prepare for vocational Bible college. Grains. Clothes. Brush your teeth,” Lindsey Seitz recalls in her book. (Lindsey Seitz)
Lindsey remembered driving past the coffee shop and parking his car there earlier than usual.
“I see your car,” she texted him.
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Lindsey now wonders why she didn’t text, “Wow, you dropped Ben off quickly,” or, “How was the drop off?” instead of.
Later that day, after work, Kyle drove to his son’s daycare to pick up Ben. “
Where’s Ben?” he asked, and the nurseries told him that Ben hadn’t been dropped off that morning. Kyle kept searching the nursery’s rooms until it dawned on him.
“Kyle forgot to take him to daycare that morning. He died in the car, sitting in the parking lot of my husband’s office,” Lindsey wrote in her book “The Gift of Ben.” (Lindsey Seitz)
“Kyle forgot to take him to daycare that morning. He died in the car, sitting in the parking lot of my husband’s office,” Lindsey writes in her book.
After staff at the hospital that night informed the Seitzes that their son “hadn’t made it,” Lindsey put her arms around her husband and immediately told him she loved him. She couldn’t fathom the simultaneous guilt and sadness he felt.
Seitz told Fox News Digital that she felt “unconditional love” for her husband in her heart at the time, but forgiving him in her mind was a much longer process — one she fleshed out while writing her book.
What followed the next year included ongoing media investigations, a police investigation, and inquiries from the Department of Children and Families (DCF), for which Seitz was grateful in retrospect. But it made the grieving process more difficult. She was in “survival mode” for months after Ben’s death.
Seitz told Fox News Digital that she felt “unconditional love” for her husband in her heart after their son died, but forgiving him in her mind was a much longer process. (Lindsey Seitz)
The book’s message focuses more on unconditional love and forgiveness than on the tragedy her family experienced more than eight years ago, Seitz said.
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“The heart and mind are two different things,” she said. “I realized, looking back, that we are 100%…partners, and that we were meant to be together in this life to support each other through tough times and teach each other the lessons we needed to learn… I don’t know if it was forgiveness in the moment, but it was overwhelming love for him.”
Lindsey added that she “always knew” that she could “never live without” Kyle.
Lindsey could “never live without” Kyle. (Lindsey Seitz)
In her heart, “there was unconditional love and instant forgiveness,” but it took her mind nearly eight years to catch up.
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“I started rationalizing: How could this happen? Because of my husband’s actions, my son has now died. How can I intellectually forgive him for something like that?” she said. “And that’s been an eight-year journey. I’ve forgiven him through our unconditional love, but it’s been a journey of faith — an internal process I’ve had to go through for many years.”
Lindsey noted that she had struggled with bipolar disorder and manic depression since her early 20s, and Kyle was there to support her as she worked through ways to manage her mental illness.
Writing and publishing “The Gift of Ben” has been a way for them to grieve together in a way they couldn’t have done after Ben’s death. (Lindsey Seitz)
Writing and publishing “The Gift of Ben” has been a way for them to grieve together in a way they couldn’t have done after Ben’s death.
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Lindsey now works with Kids and Car Safety, an advocacy organization that estimates that more than 1,050 children have died from heatstroke in cars since 1990. A portion of the proceeds from Seitz’s book will go to Kids and Car Safety and the National Alliance on Mental Illness.
She has also advocated for passage of the Hot Cars Act of 2021, which would require new car models to warn drivers of weight in the back seat when they turn off their vehicle.
Audrey Conklin is a digital reporter for Fox News Digital and FOX Business. Email tips to [email protected] or on Twitter at @audpants.
